Accept people as they are

And yet again,the following is sensational but interesting story from my personal diary (2007). I don't remember exactly, the source from where i copied, but it definitely has profound meaning in it; special credit goes to the actual writer. I reproduce here with hope that anyone who read this could remember it at least at one point of their lives. Here it goes:


A soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam called his parents from San Fransisco:

"Mom and Dad, I am coming home, but i have a favour to ask, I have a friend i would like to bring home with me."
"Sure," they replied, "we would love to meet meet him."
The son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a landmine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and i want him to come and live with us."

"I am sorry to hear that, son. May be we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, mom and dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you are asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we cannot let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He will find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him then; their son had died after falling from a building;it was SUICIDE. The parents went to San Fransisco and saw that their son had only one arm and one leg.

This story (perhaps it was fact) has underlying truth. Even if you and i were his parents, we might have replied from the similar angle; may be we might not have said rudely (it differs) but our point would have been still the same-"such a handicap would be terrible burden". While it would be natural to put blame(by society) on parents,in this case, for acting unkindly, it could be other-way round to be more appropriate.

Somewhere, deep down, unconsciously we have a fear of societal retribution. Lets take the fact-why AIDS patients do not want to let other know of their disease? or why it(fact) is kept confidential? The reason is clear: they fear from public criticism. Lets imagine one patient confessing the truth and the very outcome we could easily foresee is that he/she losses friends, family and may be anything the so called normal people will have. Yes! there is a reason why they do not confess; and we don't have enough reason to blame them. It must be we as society that should change. Our mindset needs to create space for those who are infected with diseases, are handicap, aged or so.

And it is quite encouraging to see today that these groups of minorities are being taken care of (or at least starting to put effort to make their lives worth living). We can see the effort world wide to enhance the opportunity of disabled in case of education, employment etc; aged/elderly are being taken care of; equal opportunities for men or women.Only thing the peaceful-world would need is no fear of OSTRACISM.

The inauspicious day meets nine evils

The seventhth day of the eleventh month of Bhutanese calender is always considered as the "Ngyenpa Gu Zom" meaning meeting of nine evils. And this year the nine evils met on 12 December, Sunday.

This was the day when a brother met his sister. The legend has it that there was a couple*, Pha Dorji Lhokthreng and Ma Sasin Barma whom they had a son and four daughters. Those children decided to take a journey around Ri Gyalpo Rirab mountain,the highest mountain ridge. But they got separated on the way.

And the seventh day of the 11th month was the day when Rahula** met Drogsing*** where thay had an affair just to realize latter that they were indeed the siblings (from the same parents) and discovered their incestuous relationship. Thus nine evils were born and the story continues.

(Various items prepared for the inauspicious day, 2010)

We consider this day as the most inauspicious, meaning there will be no merit in any good deed we may do; but there will be multiplied negative karma if one should involve in bad deeds and belief has it that any important activity undertaken would be unsuccessful, and not supposed to venture outdoors, take long journey or begin a new plan. This must be the reason why people (who believe) celebrate with feasting and playing games like archery and khuru (dart game) on the day. And this is celebrated especially by people of central and eastern part of the country.

The day was granted Public holiday till 2007.

*the demon couple
** the eldest son
*** eldest of the sisters
note: the given image portrays various dishes (the drinks were not shown) prepared for the Ngenpa Gu zom day, 2010 in Gedu. Items included: rice, pork, beef, chicken, kewadatshi(1),mushroom curry,ezzay(2),emadatsi(3) and many other.We went for a dry picnic with those dishes; we enjoyed and had a Khuru match after the feast just to let the inauspicious day meet the nine evils; we did not do any significant work or what we did was all insignificant.
(1) kewadatshi-Bhutanese curry made up of cheese and potatoes as main ingredients
(2) Ezzay-kind of pickle, made of chillies cut into pieces and mixed with other ingredients like onion, cheese; and it is not cooked like curries
(3) Emadatshi-curry made of green chillies and cheese as important ingredients

 

Taking freedom out of the box

I have a special container; it contains many important messages: important lines from famous books, quotes of many important figures and many more. I am supposed to pick any of these messages (which are contained in rolled papers) every morning and analyse it. This is my rule which most of the time goes unheeded.

I opened the container, picked from it like a lucky dip (during fete days) and there it was: "Do not be concerned with the judgement of others as long as you know what you are doing is right. You can do what ever you want to do as long as it is correct according to your heart". This is an excerpt from the best-selling The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari* by Robin Sharma.

I glimpsed the lines and thus came to my mind the "Freedom of choice". To put it simply,we have every right to choose and act what we think as long as we have a rationale, a rationale that defines the correctness of our thought. It also, thus, means we are responsible for what we do. If a person kills another man, does the murderer exercise his freedom of choice? It certainly would mean otherwise(most probably) because the action supersedes the freedom of the deceased. But if we go by Eliot's view of " So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good; so far as we do evil or good, we are human; and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least, we exist", it may sound okay. This has got two extremes: either we should do evil or good but lets draw the line here: if we are right, lets never fear-Lets do it!

(from google)

As a child, i always feared thinking if anything i did wrong, i would be rebutted. Then, identifying right and wrong was very difficult; taking decision was never black-and-white issue. I still fear but not to the degree i had been. I can now understand how important it is to exercise our own freedom;it is not always wise to consider "what would they think about me", "what will they say about me" when we have our own inner instinct. I pray that each passing day would be confidence-gaining-day to insert my freedom of choice whatever. One fine day, i will conquer my dream; and  dichotomy between my head nad my heart will never exist.


*the given link will connect you to a review on the book and the quote i mentioned in my writing is not from the review; it is an excerpt from the actual book.

Let us read our mentality

Just have to be a little critical and you will read our mentality
Lets read together now.
Where do you see such scene, usually?
1.Private homes   2. Public toilet

pour some water on me!

What does this picture depict?

• Beautiful toilet (its a well furnished)
• yellowish urine (I drink little water  )
• I-don't-care attitude (because it belongs to all)
• I-am-busy (don't have time to flush)

Please Flush it!!!

 On the right side is the notice given on the wall of one of the common toilets. I found it interesting and i really like it. So,
What would you say?

• Don't need to be reminded (I always Flush irrespective of public or private toilet)
• Thank you ( for reminding me, will never repeat)
• It doesn't make sense (I don't bother)

And analyse to which extent you were/are RESPONSIBLE and whether you had/have the sense of BELONGINGNESS!!!